sleep training |

Keeping the fire going within your marriage when you have children can be a really hard task sometimes. Lots of interferences come into play on a daily basis, but it’s super important to make special time for your husband/wife. This also goes for people who don’t have kids! You guys have to work (not nearly as hard, ha!) as us at keeping the flame a’burnin’. Here are some ideas and concepts you may or may not have thought about:

1. Make Your Kid(s) Sleep In Their Own Bed!

When I go to sleep at night, I actually NEED my rest in order to keep up with my child’s demands during the day. It’s your one shot to re-energize and recharge, thus making you a better mom and partner. Let’s face it, when your child sleeps with you, NOBODY really sleeps, and you can never get comfortable.

Your child is probably old enough to start sleeping in their own crib, by themselves, and through the night by 6 months. Training your baby to sleep in their crib from a young age (6 months) is a GREAT way to establish a restful sleep pattern. Once they get the hang of it, they usually keep it. Pearl sleeps in her crib every night, all night, unless she’s sick or something. It only took a few days of crying, fussing, and fighting, but she got the hang of it and now won’t sleep anywhere BUT a crib. Sleeping alone with your husband can be very beneficial as it gives you guys more cuddle time and chances to hang out together, watch movies, and snuggle! If you are wondering how to sleep train, HERE is an article I already wrote on how to do it

2. Go On Date Nights

Dressing up and getting out of the house on a regular basis is crucial to maintain the “dating” feeling in a relationship. All too often we become comfortable with wearing our sweatpants and ordering take-out. Jack and I go on a date or just out to dinner alone once a week. I understand that’s not do-able for everyone, but I’m sure everyone can swing once or twice a month. Ask your mom, sister, or friend to watch your kid(s) for 2 hours while you and your partner go for dinner or to a movie. If you have siblings, set up a system where twice a month they watch your kids, and twice a month you return the favor for them! It’s important to have one on one time, focus, and listen to each other without worrying about what little Timmy is getting into.

Date Night!

3. Pillow Talk

HERE is the printable version of a cute little article I found on Pinterest. It’s a questionnaire of sorts in which you can get to know your spouse better! Use this one or make up your own questions. I love this idea. It is so important to constantly grow and get to know each other better and better.

4. Fun In-Home Dates

Have dinner or dessert outside. Light some candles, crack open a bottle of wine, and enjoy take out or a home cooked meal together on the deck!
Have a theme night: Order chinese food and watch a kung fu movie!
Make an easy dessert together, like bananas foster, and it eat together!
Pick something you guys both always wanted to learn to do, for example, juggling, and youtube an instructional video. Spend the night learning how to do cool things together!
Play trivia with each other. There are lots of good APPS that have trivia games you can download.

5. Meet Your Partner for Impromptu Lunches

If your kids are in school, call your partner up for a lunchtime date. It can be fun to meet up during the day in a minute’s notice. It keeps things spontaneous and “young”…haha! Also, you can write an email that says “meet me at the park at 12:15 P.M.”….and when he gets there, have a small lunch time picnic set up for you guys!

Keep it Fresh,

Lisa O

Lots of people have asked my thoughts on co-sleeping, so here goes:

I feel that for the first 3 months (aka the 4th trimester), baby still needs to feel safe, like they are a part of mama. The best way to do this is to spend lots of time cuddling, nursing, rocking, and sleeping together (or with a co-sleeper next to the bed). Your baby will feel very insecure and scared when he or she is not with you, because they are so new to the big, scary world. I encourage you to keep your baby close for the first few months. It is important.

After that, slowly, around 5 months, transition baby to the crib if you don’t want them to sleep in the same bed as you. You CANNOT spoil a new born. It isn’t possible. They operate solely on instinct and there’s nothing you can do to change that. They won’t get “spoiled” to you holding them, or feeding them, etc. It doesn’t work that way.

Some mothers fear their child will only want to sleep with them from now on, and they will never get their kid out of the marital bed. If that’s the case, don’t worry! 3 months will not effect their long term sleep habits.

A good rule of thumb that I’ve stuck to is recognizing that at first baby needs to be with mommy, THEN, as they become more comfortable in the world, they can be independent enough to sleep on their own. Only you know your child best, so make sure YOU feel comfortable with the transition before you try to move baby from bed to crib.

I feel co-sleeping is safe in most cases if :

You are not taking any sleeping pills or downers
You aren’t significantly overweight
Your comforter is not pulled up to where it could cover the baby (I didn’t need covers as I was sweating bullets for the first couple months which I’m sure new moms can understand! So gross)
Your bed is large enough for you, your partner, and the little one

I never had a problem co-sleeping with pearl because as a mother, you all know the second you hear one little squeak or whimper you jump wide awake. I never had any fear of not hearing her if something was wrong. Once again, though, YOU have to feel comfortable. If you aren’t, there is a great option for you. It’s called an Arm’s reach co-sleeper. Baby goes right next to bed for easy access at night.

ARMS REACH CO-SLEEPER

Sweet Dreams,

Lisa O

A Motherhood, Fashion, and Health Perspective from a 25 Year old Mama Living in Los Angeles

Tag Archives: sleep training

Making Time for Your Marriage When You Have Kids

Co-Sleeping