Author Archive

It’s About Time

By RaddestMom

It’s been a hot minute since I posted anything on here. I was busy with lots of things in the last few months, and I just couldn’t find the time or will power to post anything. Here is my check in! What’s been going on the last few months hasn’t been all that exciting. I started a couple business ventures but quickly became bored and uninspired by them. Since I don’t do this for money, it was easy for me to throw my blog in the back seat. However, I’ve come to realize that I really love writing and most importantly, helping people. SO, I am going to make a way bigger effort to contribute from now on. In this post, I will be writing about some mundane sleep issues, so in-between paragraphs I will post cute pictures of Pearl to shamelessly keep your interest. Enjoy. *Note*-this post is kind of controversial with moms, so please do not be offended if I say something you don’t agree with or you think I don’t have any factual evidence to back it up. Thanks :)

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Pearl is turning TWO next week. She’s running, talking in sentences, and knows all the names of every Disney princess. I know I have been pro-sleep training very much on this website, and I have gone to great lengths to talk about how to do it, when to do it etc….but I have to say, I have had a change of heart. After I posted my “18 month sleep regression: BEWARE” post, things went from bad to worse. I realized it wasn’t a sleep regression. She just started becoming more cognitive of the world around her, and she may have been feeling afraid or insecure. She just wanted to be with me. Since then, she pretty much hasn’t slept a single night (through the night) in her own room.

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It just didn’t feel right to let her cry. I know if I was a toddler in a dark room, alone, and all I wanted was my mommy, I would be TERRIFIED and sad. So, Jack and I decided we would just let her sleep in our bed with us at night. We set the boundary that she has to go to sleep in her own crib at her bedtime in order to give us SOME time to ourselves, but when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she’s allowed to come in bed with us. The more thought I put into it, the more I was, like, “She’s only little once, and she’s only going to want to cuddle for so long, I may as well enjoy it.”

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So, I did a lot of reading on the subject matter…it turns out most tribal people, and many families in countries around the world have their children sleep in bed with them till age 3…on a cultural level. I think the whole sleep training thing is getting out of hand. People are starting to try and sleep train their 3 month old infants and letting them “cry it out”. There is much conflicting “evidence” on the internet about the matter. Some say it’s safe, some say it’s not. It absolutely did not feel right when I tried to do it the second and third time, when my daughter couldn’t understand why I wasn’t coming to her aid to hold her when she was scared and alone.

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I PERSONALLY (don’t get all fired up if you don’t feel the same way) believe that when a small infant is made to “cry it out” and fall asleep, what happens is that they are actually being traumatized, and the brain responds by just putting them to sleep. Their basic need of “I need love, care, and attention” has not been met, thus ensuing a trauma, therefore the brain goes into sleep mode as a survival instinct to shield them from further pain…. And I won’t get into what not having your basic needs met as an infant and child translate into when you become an adult. I believe that many behavioral disorders can come out of this. Babies cry for a reason. They cannot talk, so they cry to let you know they need something. If you don’t respond to that cry, you’re neglecting their basic need in that moment. It sounds harsh, but it’s the truth. Doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent, but I urge you to do what feels RIGHT….not what your sleep trainer, fellow parents, or the internet is telling you is right. To end this topic, I will close with saying that we plan on actually sleep training pearl to go to sleep in her new big girl bed when she’s old enough to COMPLETELY understand that she is a big girl and we would very much like it if she slept in her own bed….somewhere around the 2 1/2 almost 3 year age when it is much easier to implement change using a reward system.

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Have a great day! I will be blogging more later on more interesting topics. I just felt the need to get this one over with since MOST of my emails and questions are concerning my readers’ children’s sleep patterns.

***Try to keep your comments on this subject matter KIND, please. Any rude, mean, or condescending comments will not even be fully read and deleted.***

XO

Lisa O

18 Month Sleep Regression–BEWARE MOMS!

By RaddestMom

Sleep regression happens with almost every child at some point. The most common phases are 4 months, 9 months, 12 months, and 18 months. 18 Months is the mack daddy of them all. Because you baby is now more cognitive at 18 months, they are aware that they are ALONE & can cry, scream, jump up and down, throw things, and yell MAMA till you come and sooth them back to sleep. Sleep regression is when your baby who was sleeping just fine suddenly doesn’t want to sleep anymore and makes your life miserable.

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For the last month, my daughter, who was a solid sleeper through the night since she was 6 months old (with the exception of the occasional sleep regression milestone that lasted at most 2 weeks), decided she didn’t want to be put down in her crib pretty much ever. She refused to be put down for naps as well as bed time. She only wants me to rock her till the point where my butt is numb and I start hearing voices in the sounds of the rocking chair creaking.  If she was super exhausted and couldn’t fight it anymore, she would be put down, then wake up hours later screaming & throwing a tantrum. I even got the point where I said, “ok, I’m fine with putting her in bed and letting her sleep with us.” Yeah, right. That did not work. When she would get in bed with us, she just wanted to talk & play rather than sleep. If I try to let her cry it out in her crib, she just throws a tantrum for a few minutes, lays down as if to recharge her batteries for a minute, then gets up and screams even louder.

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If your child is going through this right now, RELAX….it’s completely NORMAL!!!! That’s the good news. I feel like my brain is fried right now. When your kid isn’t sleeping, they aren’t just tired….they’re ANGRY. They throw tantrums easily, they don’t want to eat as much, and they are pretty much unpredictable and terrifying. The good news is, it will pass. In the past, if Pearl’s sleep regressed, It would always resolve itself within a couple weeks. The truly shitty part of the 18 month regression is that it usually lasts 2 months. So, yes, you will be completely sleep deprived and feel like you have a newborn for 2 months. I’m at the one month mark, now. It also seems that my friends with babies Pearl’s age are going through the same thing. Bless them!

Pearl and her best friend Olive who is the same age and also struggling with sleep

Pearl and her best friend Olive who is the same age and also struggling with sleep

Feel free to comment in the comments section with advice, support, and help for other moms who are going through this same thing! Share your stories with us, mommas.

XO

Lisa O

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