Co-Sleeping

By RaddestMom

Lots of people have asked my thoughts on co-sleeping, so here goes:

I feel that for the first 3 months (aka the 4th trimester), baby still needs to feel safe, like they are a part of mama. The best way to do this is to spend lots of time cuddling, nursing, rocking, and sleeping together (or with a co-sleeper next to the bed). Your baby will feel very insecure and scared when he or she is not with you, because they are so new to the big, scary world. I encourage you to keep your baby close for the first few months. It is important.

After that, slowly, around 5 months, transition baby to the crib if you don’t want them to sleep in the same bed as you. You CANNOT spoil a new born. It isn’t possible. They operate solely on instinct and there’s nothing you can do to change that. They won’t get “spoiled” to you holding them, or feeding them, etc. It doesn’t work that way. 

Some mothers fear their child will only want to sleep with them from now on, and they will never get their kid out of the marital bed. If that’s the case, don’t worry! 3 months will not effect their long term sleep habits.

A good rule of thumb that I’ve stuck to is recognizing that at first baby needs to be with mommy, THEN, as they become more comfortable in the world, they can be independent enough to sleep on their own. Only you know your child best, so make sure YOU feel comfortable with the transition before you try to move baby from bed to crib.

I feel co-sleeping is safe in most cases if :

  • You are not taking any sleeping pills or downers
  • You aren’t significantly overweight
  • Your comforter is not pulled up to where it could cover the baby (I didn’t need covers as I was sweating bullets for the first couple months which I’m sure new moms can understand! So gross)
  • Your bed is large enough for you, your partner, and the little one

I never had a problem co-sleeping with pearl because as a mother, you all know the second you hear one little squeak or whimper you jump wide awake. I never had any fear of not hearing her if something was wrong. Once again, though, YOU have to feel comfortable. If you aren’t, there is a great option for you. It’s called an Arm’s reach co-sleeper. Baby goes right next to bed for easy access at night.

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ARMS REACH CO-SLEEPER

Sweet Dreams,

Lisa O

7 Comments on Co-Sleeping

  1. alli
    November 7, 2012 at 2:57 pm (2 years ago)

    Hi , my daughter is now 6 and still sleeps with me …I can’t let go ! Help !

    Reply
    • RaddestMom
      November 7, 2012 at 3:02 pm (2 years ago)

      It’s all about implementing rules mama! If she has a little brother or sister (or one close in age), try having her sleep with them to adjust.
      If not, make sure it’s a good day to start sleep training her. Make sure she’s not sick, etc. Start telling her, “hey, so tonight you’re going to sleep in your own bed”, and make it out to be a fun thing. Tell her she’s going to get to snuggle all of her toys tonight. Maybe get her a new bedtime book or something.
      Every time she wakes, just go in there and tell her she’s safe and it’s time to go to sleep in her bed. Do not get into her bed though. It will be tough and she will throw a tantrum but just keep doing it and eventually she will give up because being up all night will take a toll on her and she will get over it!

      Reply
  2. Maggie
    November 7, 2012 at 3:16 pm (2 years ago)

    Co-sleeping is known to be a factor in infant deaths in the UK where all child deaths are reviewed. I work in this field and promote having the baby in a crib next to the bed for 6 months but never in the bed. There are stats to back this up. It’s always personal choice at the end of the day but I think people should know the facts and not be influenced by celebrities. I’m not meaning this to be critical but tweets like this could undermine years of research and good work. I support what you do but feel you need to consult with experts, research etc. Thanks

    Reply
  3. cassie ragsdale
    November 7, 2012 at 4:04 pm (2 years ago)

    My arm’s reach cosleeper was the only way for me back when my now 2 year old was a little wee fetus. I miss that stage. Even the sleepless nights of breast pumping and bottle washing.

    Reply
  4. Jennifer Carroll
    November 7, 2012 at 4:40 pm (2 years ago)

    I used this with my son five years ago. I swear by it. He is the sweetest boy you could ever meet and so loving!! I am sure co-sleeping has a lot to do with his personality being so great! Although, sometimes I still can’t get him from climbing in my bed in the middle of the night.

    Reply
  5. Beth-Anne
    November 7, 2012 at 4:51 pm (2 years ago)

    I definitely don’t agree with CIO method. How would you feel if the one person that cared for you, held you close, snuggled you, just dropped you in a dark room on your own and left you there? I’m not judging you or thinking badly of you (your child, your choice), but I have 3 kids and with each kid, I have learned more and more what is appropriate for babies. They are only little for such a short time and I cherish all the times they sleep in our bed, or snuggle, or nurse to go to sleep. My son stopped coming in our room when he was 3. Why are we always rushing our babies to grow and be independent far before they need to?!

    Reply
  6. abbey
    November 18, 2012 at 11:42 pm (2 years ago)

    My daughter didn’t sleep in our bed until she was about 6 months old she was happy in her own cot in our room. We have no problem with her going to bed in her cot but if she wakes in the night she gets in with us. We all find this fine, she likes to kick us and poke us til she gets comfy so she sleeps better than us! But waking to that grin next to you is the best feeling! Her cot is still in our room which is a little ‘wierd’ here in england but if it makes our daughter feel safe and we are happy with it then I can’t see the problem. Its much easier to work on seperation anxiety than to work on issues surrounding children feeling alone!

    Reply

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